Enlightenment and Nachos

You have to feel the stuff you are putting off. its gonna happen. My granny used to say you never don’t cry, you just cry latter. Now might not be the best time. (of course if you want to stop reading and come back after a good cry- I understand!) The important thing is to get it out. The anger the sadness the fear. Fear is the most toxic thing you can carry in your body, because of the irrational things it can lead you to do or say. Eat when you are hungry, play when you are full, stay safe, have fun, and look out for each other, everything else is a matter of preference (or politics -which it shouldn’t be) Which would be great if anyone could focus on that while the world tries to shake us off like a bad case of fleas.

I have a lot of advantages most people in the world do not. Living in a country like The United States has it advantages. Having access to clean drinking water and relatively fresh food would probably help though. A place to stay doesn’t hurt either, if you can come by one. I stay as hydrated as I can being houseless in a car, which in this country is surprisingly easy (comparatively speaking.)

I smoke CBD for my mental health because I am in this backwards ass state to save the 30-60% of taxes that would of just went to politicians gutting the state from the inside out for profit anyways -which is not a fun place to be homeless. I am Looking at you Colorado. (I had a place there but this plan would of been much harder there.) Also because Texas finds the idea of expanded consciousness threatening to their sycophantic religious beliefs. Let’s be honest Weed works better for my Complex-PTSD I just can’t buy it here.

Yoga is the only way I can keep moving at my age, I have been struck by too many vehicles and fallen from too many places to even be upright much less mobile. I do not try and fold myself into a know, but I do have to keep my body limber to I will wake up curled in a ball and unable to stand.

A well worn Library card keeps my mind sharp, the ability to read should be a right in my opinion. How else could we ever learn to dream of a better world to work toward? Listening to public radio keeps me informed without the sensationalism of the media arm of the corporatocracy we are under.

I write here since my therapist is a lot harder to afford without insurance because this country knows that a happy and motivated populous is harder to control. Plus I am really a pacifist at heart.

If all else fails I have a playlist of comedic songs to get a laugh out of myself, and my depression is only mild to moderate so as long as I remember to stay safe I wont passively do something reckless and dangerous to kill myself by accident. Plus there is always the suicide hotline if I need it.

I take whatever joy and beauty I can find in each an every moment. I try to make plans for the future to have something to look forward to. I make a point to play as often as I can.